CSB Wellness

Category: Uncategorized

  • Feeling like an imposter

    By: Ahmed Elbassiouny and Natalie Hoffmann

    Have you ever felt inadequate, out of place and bluntly a “scam”? Turns out, you are not alone. According to Dr. Jasjit Sangha (Learning Strategist, Centre for Academic Success at UofT), imposter syndrome is real and common among academics of all stages – graduate students, faculty and staff. What are the symptoms of imposter? Feeling of inadequacy (usually tied to your academic performance) is the most common symptom, but the feeling of isolation or not belonging (due to implicit or explicit structural barriers; lab dynamics, micro-aggression, different supervisory styles arising from difference in gender, age, or sexual identity) is another. The key thing about imposter is, you should not let yourself continue suffering in silence, utilizing tools and resources available to realize and manage those feelings in a positive way could help prevent escalating to burnout in the long term.

    Jasjit advises the importance of recognizing the “iceberg effect” when feeling like an imposter. This often occurs when all you can notice is the end product of someone’s work – the recent presentation, publication, successful grant application – without immediately knowing what went into this success underneath the surface. Being able to remind yourself that persistence, failure, sacrifice, and disappointments are all part of the process of success. What people usually see is the “iceberg” of this process.

    The iceberg illusion of success! What most people see is the success, but not the struggles (and failures) that lead to this success.

    Imposter syndrome will negatively impact your work productivity and mental health.”

    Dr. Jasjit Sangha

    Stress levels associated with feeling like an imposter will negatively impact your level of productivity and motivation to continue doing your work. Loss of connection with others in the community because of this feeling that you do not belong can often lead you to withdraw from the community, to isolate and to feel like an outcast. These feelings often perpetuate, Jasjit says, and can turn into a vicious cycle; you feel inadequate to apply for scholarship or submit a manuscript, which will lead to not winning the scholarship or publishing your work, which then asserts your doubts about your abilities — and the cycle goes on.

    How to overcome feeling like an imposter?

    We really wanted to know how we can help other CSB members deal with feeling like an imposter, and Jasjit provided some tips to deal with those feelings:

    1. Talk to people you trust in the community, who can validate your feelings and also give you perspective on those feelings. Trusted people can be those in your lab, in other labs at CSB, people on the wellness committee, CSBGU or anyone you are comfortable that they will not judge you.
    2. Look back on your progress so far. Although you might be dealing with failures at the moment, you still managed to get to where you are because of your abilities and hard work.
    3. Practice self-compassion and “Reframe Thinking Traps.” That means
      • Recognize that you are having negative thoughts
      • Create a distance between your thoughts and your response. For example, instead of thinking “I am not good enough”, try to turn this into “I notice that I am having thoughts that I am not good enough”
      • Try to practice strategies to reframe those negative thoughts into more positive ones. See some examples below.
    Examples of thinking traps and ways to turn them into more positive thoughts

    4. Find “balance of self” by not only investing all your time and energy at work. Life that focuses only on academic/work aspects, Jasjit says, will often neglect other aspects like physical, mental and emotional well-being. The huge pressure to focus on work only in academia can force people to feel imbalanced and out of place. Try to make time to exercise, meditate, set boundaries for work hours and ensure you have some “me” time. Knowing which areas you lack in the wellness circle (below) should give you ideas of what areas you need to attend to, to regain your balance and well-being when in distress.

    Wellness Circle, concept developed by Academic Success Centre, to highlight areas that make academic feel well-rounded and grounded.

    Take home messages:

    1. It is okay to feel like an imposter, many academics and scientists do.
    2. Build and find network of supports within CSB, UofT or even outside, that can give you advice and keep you grounded when you are feeling like an imposter. If you feel comfortable, you can vent to people on the wellness committee.
    3. Seek out professional help: academic success centre, health and wellness, MySSP and other resources.

    Some resources:

    Grad related programming

    Imposter Phenomenon:

    Self care + Self Compassion

    Academic Success Resources:

    • A new Quercus course to help you manage stress, use evidence-based study techniques, connect with supportive people and resources, and more! Enroll in this non-credit course at any time at tinyurl.com/academicsuccessresources
    • Would you like to chat 1-1 about your learning goals and questions? Learning Strategists support students in all aspects of learning and academic performance, while Academic Success Peers can help you connect with university resources. Login to CLNx and book an appointment! 
    • Interested in joining a virtual study hub, grad writing group, or a grad productivity group? Sign up on Academic Success’s CLNx calendar! 

    Mental Wellness Resources:

    • The Health and Wellness Centre is open! Click here for important updates and to learn about online supports during this time.
    • My Student Support Program (My SSP): (1-844-451-9700. Outside of North America, call 001-416-380-6578); Culturally-competent mental health and counselling services in 146 languages for all U of T students.

  • Elucidating the mental health crisis in academia

    Credit: Johnny Guatto, University of Toronto

    By: Norzin Shrestha

    “Mental health” and “mental illness” are often wrongly used interchangeably. Similar to how we take care of our physical health by exercising and eating healthy, it is equally important to take care of our mental health. Yet, why is it easier to discuss our physical health with a doctor (i.e., when we break a bone or develop a cold), but it is more difficult to talk to someone when our mental health is suffering? Poor mental health does not need to be permanent. Whether it is with medication, counselling or setting aside some “me time,” it is possible to be mentally well. Unfortunately, poor mental health is very prominent in academia.

    it is equally important to take care of our mental health

    There are numerous factors that contribute to poor mental health in academia, including imposter syndrome, financial concerns, poor supervisor relationships, and toxic lab dynamics. Most people completely give up their hobbies and stop having a social life so that they can give their full attention to their work. I was also guilty of this myself — I used to be in the lab fourteen hours a day, seven days a week and the lab was practically my home. Later, I realized that I was actually crippling my growth as a scientist. This is a very common work model in academia and probably one of the main contributors to the mental health crisis we are currently facing. There is this idea that long work hours lead to more data and more publications, and this is engrained in the mindset of many academics. Don’t get me wrong, you do need to work hard in order to get results, but perhaps we need to emphasize the need to work smart and efficiently rather than working long hours.

    The culture of working long hours also induces feelings of isolation and guilt. Many academics feel isolated from their non-academic friends and family, as we are busy working in our labs. Moreover, it’s extremely difficult to explain our lifestyle to those outside of academia. We also tend to feel guilty as we cannot spend as much time with them as we used to, which often leads to strained relationships. Having a good support system is crucial while going through such a demanding experience in graduate school. Excluding our friends and family, this support system usually consists of our supervisor and colleagues in the lab. Now, imagine if our relationship with our supervisor and colleagues isn’t a healthy one … wouldn’t that pose as an immense source of stress? As a student, our academic and professional future relies heavily on guidance from our supervisor. If our relationship with our mentor isn’t conducive to understanding and growth, this can disrupt our mental health significantly and become a major source of anxiety.

    Another common source of suffering for academics is imposter syndrome. I think almost everyone has felt inadequate and doubted their own accomplishments at some point in their graduate careers. Not only do we have to work hard (and smart), we are also “tested” at every stage of our careers, whether it is with committee meetings, presenting posters/talks at conferences, and defending our work at the end of graduate school. So, in this competitive and sometimes hostile environment (depending on the lab you’re working in), a failed experiment or a failed project can send us to a very dark place mentally. In reality, failure is a part of life and sometimes, things don’t work out as we had planned or envisioned. In times like these, we really ought to remind ourselves that some failed experiments have resulted in scientific breakthroughs!

    Graduate school is a very challenging experience, however, there are other professions that are equally, if not more, challenging. What are we doing that is debilitating the mental health of our communities? I think it’s crucial to point out that even though the majority of work published on mental health focuses on graduate students, there are other members of our community who are also suffering (i.e., post-doctorate fellows, faculty members and lab staff). If they were experiencing mental health issues in school and didn’t seek help, then their poor mental health has not been addressed their whole career!

    even though the majority of work published on mental health focuses on graduate students, there are other members of our community who are also suffering

    Everything that I have touched upon so far is a part of the global mental health problem. It’s not just restricted to our department or to the University of Toronto. Nevertheless, if we want to see change, we have to start small and that would be here within the Cell and Systems Biology (CSB) Department. Financial concerns, inside and outside of academia, are major contributors of stress, anxiety, and depression. Compared to other departments, serving as a teaching assistant (TA) is a part of our stipend. So, in addition to conducting experiments, we have to be a TA, while also taking some grad courses. For those of us who want to stay in academia and become professors, this is the ideal situation as we have a guaranteed position. For others who plan on working in industry, venturing outside of academia and industry or who have terrible time-management and multi-tasking skills, it is extremely stressful and more of a nuisance. Then, there are those of us who have families to support and the current stipend is really not enough!

    When I started my PhD, I wasn’t aware of the mental health crisis in academia. As I progressed through graduate school, I began to notice many friends slip from being mentally healthy to developing anxiety, depression, and some who even contemplated suicide. Being on the caregiver side of the struggle, it was heartbreaking to watch such brilliant and strong individuals suffer. In my pursuit to help them, I realized that the department didn’t have any resources in place to help those who were suffering. There was no conversation around mental health and absolutely no awareness of the current crisis. It was then that I decided it was time to take action and founded the St. George CSB Wellness Committee. The committee consists of graduate students, a post-doctoral fellow, a staff member, and faculty members. I believe that the best way to tackle this crisis is by working together. This committee will hopefully be useful for those who don’t feel comfortable disclosing their feelings to their social circle or for those without one (such as international members, labs with only one student, and domestic but out of province members of our community). The goal of the committee is to increase awareness surrounding the mental health crisis, while advocating for the wellbeing of everyone at CSB. So, if you are reading this and you are suffering, please reach out to someone. It doesn’t matter who. Just someone. Sometimes, just the act of talking helps.

    This article was originally published in the CSB Forefront and subsequently in Elemental Magazine.

    The take home message: it is important to look after your mental wellbeing periodically; it is an investment in your future physical and mental wellbeing. Analogous to doing regular maintenance on equipment to avoid costly repair costs. If you are noticing signs of fatigue or distress, don’t ignore it – do something about it! Many resources are available to help you get through distress.

  • The Top 5 Stressors that CSB Graduate Students Experience

    By: Elly Wong

    Photo by Jason Krygier-Baum, University of Toronto

    The Wellness Committee recently sent out a mental health assessment survey to the graduate students of the Cell and Systems Biology Department, and an overwhelming 70% of students reported that they either feel very stressed or have been more frequently stressed lately. Based on this survey, here are the top 5 stressors that most CSB Graduate Students reported to have experienced:

    1.  Getting Experiments to Work

    ….what even is the point of all this?

    As the very heart of graduate school is directly linked to novel research and experiments, it is not surprising that getting experiments to work is the number one stressor that impacted most students. Nothing about research is ever smooth sailing, and the worst thing for a graduate student to experience is the constant roadblocks when experiments fail to work. Our survey reported that 86% of students work quite frequently on weekends in addition to their regular work week and when experiments are not working well, it is very easy to feel that all the dedicated time and efforts are flushed down the drain – at this rate, what even is the point of all this? It is mentally debilitating and exhaustive – the longer it takes for experiments to work, the higher the pressure becomes, operating in a continuous never-ending loop that students suffer from. No single experience is the same; everyone is undergoing hardship, and it would be extremely helpful to show some kindness and encouragement to your peers from time to time.

    2. The Pressure to Publish

    ..will I ever publish?

    Similar to getting experiments to work, another major struggle is the pressure to publish (especially for PhD students). It is very easy to be caught up with imposter syndrome (or the feeling of not being good enough) especially when there is nothing to show, despite all the hard work that was dedicated to making experiments work. Sometimes, as happy as you are for that lab mate who recently published in a high-impact journal, you can’t help but compare and feel less valuable when you ponder upon your own work – will I ever publish? How long until I publish? What if journals reject my publications? While it is normal to feel concerned about the trajectory of your work, publishing, although extremely rewarding, is not the only measure of success and achievements in graduate school. It is more important to know that the grand scheme of life is not only about publications, but other measurements of success such as your mental health, happiness, fulfillment, and healthy relationships are also just as important. Pushing to publish at the expense of your mental health may have exacerbating effects. Sometimes, taking a step back to recalibrate will yield dividends. After all, a well-oiled machine is much more efficient than something at the brink of breaking down. The same applies to you!

    This pressure to publish is, likely, linked to PhD students’ satisfaction with their graduate program. The survey data suggest a higher percentage of respondents who are very dissatisfied with their graduate experience in year 4 and later (17%) compared to years 1-3 (5%) of the PhD program. This is likely because of a heightened pressure to publish in order to secure grants and post-doctoral fellowships.

    3. Being Constantly Away From Social Life

    Being alone can lead to too much time spent overthinking, resulting in increased stress and anxiety

    With the COVID-19 pandemic and back-to-back lockdown restrictions, being in close proximity and getting quality time with support groups like our family and friends becomes increasingly difficult, as 92% of students have reported that interactions with fellow lab mates were affected. From the previous two points, we already know that graduate school itself is extremely taxing and it doesn’t help that we can’t physically gather with the very people who understand the hardships we face in grad school. Being alone can lead to too much time spent overthinking, resulting in increased stress and anxiety. It can be helpful to connect with people who are a positive influence: reach out to friends and family through phone or video calls or contact formal support that can help you during high-stress times (insert community hotline).

    4.  Financial Worries

    As 81% of graduates reported that they are either unsure or doubtful that they are on track to complete their graduate studies on time, it becomes alarming that students often find themselves occupied with financial worries in addition to their graduate work. The longer it takes to graduate, the more tuition owed, and the further they are from settling their debts Graduates feel “financially behind”, being a student at the age of 25, while most people are receiving full-time wages after graduating from their bachelor’s degree. Although a stipend is helpful, rent, tuition, and other expenses would still be overwhelmingly exhausting. Perhaps participating in a “financial accountability group” with fellow grad students and sharing financial concerns with PIs would be helpful to address financial worries – which brings us to our last major stressor.

    5. Interacting with supervisor (PI)

    It is quite concerning that 57% of graduates reported that they are not comfortable with sharing financial struggles with their PIs, and that 76% do not feel comfortable or are reluctant to share mental struggles. This is quite worrisome, as it is not healthy for students to mentally suffer from no perceived outlets or means to receive help from their PIs, despite that PIs are readily available to communicate. One of the roles of a PI is to be supportive and provide guidance to their students and therefore, many issues could be alleviated from a casual, honest conversation that encourages mutual understanding from both parties.

    After identifying these top stressors, the next step is to take action to alleviate some of these concerns and maintain wellbeing while in graduate school. If you are a student facing difficulties with grad school-related issues, having effective communications with your PI may help dissolve any potential barriers or misunderstandings. However, we as the Wellness Committee understand that you may not be comfortable in doing so – therefore, should there be issues that you would like to bring up anonymously or that you need help from a 3rd party with bridging that communication, please reach out to us. The Wellness Committee is here to serve you and listen to any potential concerns that you may have. If you are someone in a well-enough position to give, we encourage you to initiate a coffee chat or write a simple note for your friends – at stressful times, even little kind gestures would go a long way!

    ….initiate a coffee chat or write a simple note for your friends… little kind gestures would go a long way

  • Mental health literacy and coping with the pandemic seminar

  • Mental Health Awareness in Academia

  • Impact of COVID-19 on the CSB community

    Communication between colleagues is fundamental to the success of our community. Our interactions with one another can help us solve problems, rehash old ideas and inspire new ones. Due to many possible reasons, communication can often be difficult between students and between colleagues, especially if it revolves around a sensitive topic. For example: we’ve recently conducted a survey which shows that only 24% of surveyed CSB graduate students are comfortable sharing mental health struggles with their supervisors. Some of this data is shown in the charts below.

    Graduate student responses to how willing they are to share mental health struggles with their PIs (2020)
    Graduate students on impact of COVID-19 on communication with colleagues (2020)
    Faculty responses on the impact of COVID-19 on communication with colleagues (2020)

    Of course, the mental health stigma in academia has especially been exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic. Within CSB, members of our community have reported that communication with colleagues have been severely impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, with 41% of graduate students and 73% of faculty reporting a large impact of COVID-19 on interaction with colleagues. With a decline in communication with colleagues, conversations about mental health and struggles are even more limited.

    So, what does this mean for us? We should strive to make our community a place where we can comfortably discuss topics such as mental health and general wellbeing at all levels.

    As we move forward with our day to day activities, we should try to check-in with our friends and colleagues more regularly, whether it be via a quick email, or meeting. If you haven’t spoken with a colleague or someone in your lab for more than a couple of weeks, maybe it’s time to get in touch.

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